Forged with Love

Ok, so this post is for stay at home moms (or dads!).

I’ve had this “crazy” idea for a while now and wanted to see your thoughts on it. I say crazy because I think “back in the day” neighborhood moms actually did this a lot.

We all love our kids, but we all also appreciate our time away from them. And, I strongly believe it makes us better parents when we can take a break from our kiddos every now and then. Stay at home parents don’t get that break too often and some weeks, it really shows in our attitudes towards the kids. At least for me it does!

So what if you could “get away” from your kids for three hours every week- during the middle of the day, when everyone else is at work? What if you could have a group of 4-5 stay at home parents who rotated weeks watching the kids? Would you jump at the chance, say every Tuesday from 9-12, to leave your kids with a friend and go do whatever the heck you wanted- even if it was going back home to enjoy watching a few shows in total silence? Would you do it?

Wait before you answer, because here’s the trade off. Every 3-4 weeks that means their kids would be at your house! Would you still willingly drop your kids off at a house full of kids (maybe 8-10) with one adult, knowing the next week you’d be the one watching 8-10 kids at your house for 3 hours?

For obvious reasons, the people in “your group” would be parents you completely trust and love- neighbors, play group moms, church friends, etc.

Anyone think this is crazy? Cool? You do this already? Thoughts?

…are going to be the death of me one day.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my girls. Today was just one of those days when it’s over all you can think is “finally”! Come on parents, you’ve all had these days. Don’t deny it!

So on the potty training front, I need some advice. Caden did SO well Thursday and Friday. She only had 3 accidents each day and I could “explain them away” with each situation. Then yesterday and today were TERRIBLE! She probably had 10 accidents each day. Ugh.

I know some days will be better than others, but this extreme? I know she knows how to go and I know she knows “the feeling”. I know this because there have been multiple times when she has started to go, stopped herself, gone to the potty, and done her business. You can’t tell me after that that she doesn’t know what she’s doing or have the control.

So my question comes from this…after watching her, talking to her, and analyzing in my own little mind…I think a lot of her accidents are on “purpose”. Her accidents have been happening during the following activities:
1. She’s eating
2. She’s watching Elmo
3. She’s playing something she doesn’t want to stop
4. She’s in time out

Yes, during ALL of these times either Chris or I have checked in with her to see if she needs to go. She NEVER goes more than 10 minutes without being asked if she needs to go. I feel like she’s making a choice to not go because she’s doing something she really likes, or she’s making the decision TO go because she thinks it’ll get her out of time out.

So the question is…how do we get her to realize that going in her undies is NOT okay without making using the restroom a negative thing? I don’t want her to associate going potty with a negative, BUT I also don’t want her wetting her pants every 15 minutes! Help!!!

Add poor Kennedy needing some formula again today on top of all the accidents, and I’m just glad they’re both in bed right now! I’ll probably be joining them soon, even though it’s only 8:30, and I did take a nap today!! Hope your day was better!!

Well, it’s nap time and I’m SO happy to report that we’ve only had 1 accident all day!!! Caden, I am SO proud of you and how quickly you’ve caught on to all of this.

We are about 50/50 on me reminding her to go, and her voicing it herself. I’m sure that will get better with time. Her one accident wasn’t a wet one, it was the other. I’m not sure why she had it, either. She “went poopies” in the potty earlier this morning, so I know she’s not afraid of it and I know she knows how. Truthfully, and this may be gross, but I think it’s because she was passing gas for 5 minutes before the accident and maybe thought that was all it was. Who knows. We’ll see how the afternoon goes.

I’m going to put pants on her this afternoon and hope that doesn’t throw her off. Poor girl has been pantless since Tuesday morning! Haha!!

Sweet baby Kennedy has not been forgotten about during all of this. She’s dealing with her own stuff, too. I’ve been concerned for a while that she isn’t getting enough to eat, especially later in the day. This afternoon after her lunch, on a hunch I gave her 2 ounces of formula to see if she was indeed, still hungry. The poor girl drank it all in about 2 minutes flat.

After she drank the formula, she was just different. She was smiling, laughing, and eager to play. Now don’t get me wrong, she’s a very happy baby anyway, but this was night and day different. I feel so bad because I’ve sort of “known” for a while that she wasn’t getting enough, but she wasn’t super fussy, she wasn’t waking up in the middle of the night, she was still wetting her diapers (but not pooping), etc. The past two days, though, she’s woken up an hour into each nap. Again, not super fussy, just woken up, so I wasn’t 100% sure. Now, I’m sure!

I know I don’t eat healthy and that’s probably part of it. BUT, I drink my water, I definitely eat enough calories , I limit my caffeine and alcohol…I’m just not sure how to “fix” this. Ideas??

One thing I can say is that she doesn’t nurse super well anymore. Once she started cereal (4mo), she nursed seemingly faster. Before cereal, each feeding was 20-25 minutes. After starting cereal, feelings are down to 10-15 minutes, if I’m lucky. Once she “pops off” she is not concerned with getting back on. I will try to continue the feeding, but she’s either distracted by something else, not concerned, or let down isnt happening fast enough for her. I don’t know how to fix this, either. Ideas??

So, overall, it’s been a GREAT day for Caden and potty training, but not so great for my confidence in getting Kennedy fed and nourished! Ideas on fixing that issue would be greatly appreciated!

**as always, THANK YOU for all of your prayers for our little family. We are definitely blessed beyond measure!!**

It’s late, I’m tired, and I meant to write this post much earlier. You’ll get the shortened version…

Day 2 went as well as can be expected, I suppose. Lots of correctly using the potty, lots of accidents, too. I’m not quite sure if she really “gets it” yet. Several times today her accidents were a complete mess- no control whatsoever. Then there were times she’d start going, stop herself, get to the potty and finish her business. I’ll consider that some progress I guess. We’ll see how tomorrow goes. I’m hoping that tomorrow afternoon or Friday, we’ll actually be ale to venture out of the house for a short trip somewhere.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers over this. This morning I was NOT in the mood to deal with this, or my extra whiny toddler, and by 8:00 that feeling was gone. I know it was only by the grace of God. He hears prayers, y’all. Please keep them coming, as we’ve still got a long way to go!

I know, is it really even an accurate reflection of the day if you do it mid day? Probably not, but oh well.

I think you all know we started potty training Caden today. We talked to her last night about how when she woke up she’d get to wear her “big girl panties”. That was one of the first things she remembered this morning, thankfully.

I got her up and made a big deal of changing her last diaper, showing her that there were no more in her diaper basket, and putting on her big girl undies. She was so excited to wear Minnie Mouse on her backside!

The first thing she does when she wakes up is drink her milk. I knew this would make her need to go, but I didn’t realize HOW MUCH it would make her go. She finished her milk around 7:30, and we had 5 accidents before 9:15. I was worried about the rest of our day, especially when she didn’t even notice the first two accidents. She just kept right on playing.

After the first two accidents, she started noticing that the floor was wet, and coming to tell me. Good sign, I suppose. After 9:15 I finally remembered to have her go potty every 15 minutes. Since then we’ve only had 2 accidents, so I feel like that’s helping.

The drawback to making her go every 15 minutes is that she doesn’t want to. There have been 3 screaming/crying fits over having to sit on the potty (2 of which she actually went A LOT, and the third she didn’t go, but had an accident immediately afterwards). Also, I don’t feel like this is building her independence of knowing when she needs to go. I’m going to keep doing this for today, and stretch it to 20 minutes tomorrow since she’s not going each time.

We also decided NOT to nap/night train yet. I put her in a diaper (we have 2 unused boxes) for nap just now and explained that it is only for nap/night and when she wakes up she’ll put her Minnie’s back on. She seemed to be fine with that. We are doing it this way because she’s still in the crib, I’m not ready to switch to a toddler bed, she doesn’t stay dry at those times, and I’m hoping the day training will help with the nap/night wetting. We’ll see soon enough if this was smart or not.

I also downloaded the “pull-ups iGo potty app” on my phone. It’s fun and Caden likes it. She gets a “sticker” each time she successfully uses the potty and when she earns 9, she gets a game (I think). She only needs 2 more to get her first game- she’s SO excited about this. She also loves the “potty dance” song that’s on it. It’s driving me crazy, but whatever works, right?

The app is supposed to alert you at certain time intervals, but this part doesn’t work. Would be cool if it did, but oh well. Caden also likes the “progress page”. It stacks up little toilets each time she goes, and her stack is almost at the top of the page. Not sure what happens with that, but she squeals each time it goes higher. Again, whatever works!

So, overall, it’s not as bad as I had anticipated. Started off rough, but seems to be improving. I’m hoping the afternoon goes even better, and that she actually starts telling me when she needs to go, instead of waiting for me to take her.

Thanks for everyone’s prayers. They are definitely being felt!!