Forged with Love

Our home group at church is doing book studies for the men and women. The men are reading and studying The Masculine Mandate and the women are reading and studying Feminine Appeal. During my reading today, I was convicted pretty deep about my love for Chris.

The book is talking mainly about the Titus 2 wife. Specifically verses 3-5:
Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. (Titus 2:3-5 NLT)

Chapter 2 of the book is what I was reading today. It specifically talks about verse 4 and the wife loving her husband. The Bible mentions 4 different types of love, Agape (sacrificial), Phileo (friendship), Eros (romantic), and Storge (family). The word “love” in verse 4 is using the Phileo type of love- friendship or brotherly love.

I find myself constantly getting caught up in loving Chris with an Agape kind of love. Sacrificing things for him, serving him by caring for the girls, washing the dishes, making dinner, etc. I think that’s very easy to do in today’s world of getting things done, raising kids, preparing for the future, etc. None of those things are bad, but I lately I rarely find myself loving him with a Phileo love. Enjoying his presence, being interested in his hobbies, taking delight in spending time with him.

Now stop before you misunderstand me- I love being with my husband and having him around…so he can help me! But am I truly enjoying and cherishing him?

For lack of a better way to put it, am I still spell bound and in love with him the way I was when we were dating? Titus 2:4 commands me to be this way with him. Delighting in him, his presence, his hobbies, getting “the butterflies” when I see him.

I have no doubt that God allowed me to read this chapter of the book today, a week before we go on our trip to Vegas without the kids. I definitely need to get back to loving him with a Phileo kind of love. It’s definitely more “fun” than an agape kind of love.

How are you currently loving your husband?

Woohoo! I know I’m about to jinx us and tomorrow will be completely awful…but we’ve had THREE days with NO accidents from Caden. Whoop!! She is still in a diaper during her nap and at night, but otherwise, she’s completely diaper free! I felt like I was going to pull my hair out during, but in retrospect, 11 days from start to “finish” doesn’t seem that bad. Way to go Caden! Mommy is SO proud of you!

Now that that hurdle is (hopefully) finished, I’ve decided to punish us a different way…we started breaking Kennedy of her swaddle today. She LOVES being swaddled to go to sleep and when swaddled, you can lay her down and she’s out in under 3 minutes. No crying, no whimpering, no “talking,” just OUT. The problem is, she fights out of it during her sleep no matter how tight you wrap her, and trust me, I wrap her so tight even Chris gets a little worried about her breathing ability!

Once she fights out, it wakes her up and you have to go in and reswaddle her. Truly, it’s not that big of a deal, because she goes right back to sleep, BUT it would be nice to not have to get up in the middle of the night every night just to reswaddle her. Plus, Chris and I are going to Las Vegas next week and my mom is going to come stay with the girls. (Those emotions are an entirely different post!!) I don’t want my mom to have to deal with middle of the night swaddles, either.

I started this morning with her first nap. I only swaddled one arm and left the other arm out. She did not take a morning nap at all.

Kennedy-1, Mama-0

For her afternoon nap, I did the same thing, and she fell asleep immediately. Yay! Just kidding, because she woke up 30 minutes later and SCREAMED for 30 minutes. But, I held my ground (and called my sister!) and she fell back asleep and slept for 1.5 hours. Whoop!

Kennedy-1, Mama-1

Tonight I decided I didn’t want to drag this out forever, so I went ahead and only wrapped her midsection, leaving both arms unwrapped. She cried screamed for just under 40 minutes, and as of this moment, all is silent in her room. I’m hoping she doesn’t wake up a bunch of times tonight. We shall see.

For now, Kennedy-1, Mama-2.

Successful day if you ask me.

Ok, so this post is for stay at home moms (or dads!).

I’ve had this “crazy” idea for a while now and wanted to see your thoughts on it. I say crazy because I think “back in the day” neighborhood moms actually did this a lot.

We all love our kids, but we all also appreciate our time away from them. And, I strongly believe it makes us better parents when we can take a break from our kiddos every now and then. Stay at home parents don’t get that break too often and some weeks, it really shows in our attitudes towards the kids. At least for me it does!

So what if you could “get away” from your kids for three hours every week- during the middle of the day, when everyone else is at work? What if you could have a group of 4-5 stay at home parents who rotated weeks watching the kids? Would you jump at the chance, say every Tuesday from 9-12, to leave your kids with a friend and go do whatever the heck you wanted- even if it was going back home to enjoy watching a few shows in total silence? Would you do it?

Wait before you answer, because here’s the trade off. Every 3-4 weeks that means their kids would be at your house! Would you still willingly drop your kids off at a house full of kids (maybe 8-10) with one adult, knowing the next week you’d be the one watching 8-10 kids at your house for 3 hours?

For obvious reasons, the people in “your group” would be parents you completely trust and love- neighbors, play group moms, church friends, etc.

Anyone think this is crazy? Cool? You do this already? Thoughts?

…are going to be the death of me one day.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my girls. Today was just one of those days when it’s over all you can think is “finally”! Come on parents, you’ve all had these days. Don’t deny it!

So on the potty training front, I need some advice. Caden did SO well Thursday and Friday. She only had 3 accidents each day and I could “explain them away” with each situation. Then yesterday and today were TERRIBLE! She probably had 10 accidents each day. Ugh.

I know some days will be better than others, but this extreme? I know she knows how to go and I know she knows “the feeling”. I know this because there have been multiple times when she has started to go, stopped herself, gone to the potty, and done her business. You can’t tell me after that that she doesn’t know what she’s doing or have the control.

So my question comes from this…after watching her, talking to her, and analyzing in my own little mind…I think a lot of her accidents are on “purpose”. Her accidents have been happening during the following activities:
1. She’s eating
2. She’s watching Elmo
3. She’s playing something she doesn’t want to stop
4. She’s in time out

Yes, during ALL of these times either Chris or I have checked in with her to see if she needs to go. She NEVER goes more than 10 minutes without being asked if she needs to go. I feel like she’s making a choice to not go because she’s doing something she really likes, or she’s making the decision TO go because she thinks it’ll get her out of time out.

So the question is…how do we get her to realize that going in her undies is NOT okay without making using the restroom a negative thing? I don’t want her to associate going potty with a negative, BUT I also don’t want her wetting her pants every 15 minutes! Help!!!

Add poor Kennedy needing some formula again today on top of all the accidents, and I’m just glad they’re both in bed right now! I’ll probably be joining them soon, even though it’s only 8:30, and I did take a nap today!! Hope your day was better!!

Well, it’s nap time and I’m SO happy to report that we’ve only had 1 accident all day!!! Caden, I am SO proud of you and how quickly you’ve caught on to all of this.

We are about 50/50 on me reminding her to go, and her voicing it herself. I’m sure that will get better with time. Her one accident wasn’t a wet one, it was the other. I’m not sure why she had it, either. She “went poopies” in the potty earlier this morning, so I know she’s not afraid of it and I know she knows how. Truthfully, and this may be gross, but I think it’s because she was passing gas for 5 minutes before the accident and maybe thought that was all it was. Who knows. We’ll see how the afternoon goes.

I’m going to put pants on her this afternoon and hope that doesn’t throw her off. Poor girl has been pantless since Tuesday morning! Haha!!

Sweet baby Kennedy has not been forgotten about during all of this. She’s dealing with her own stuff, too. I’ve been concerned for a while that she isn’t getting enough to eat, especially later in the day. This afternoon after her lunch, on a hunch I gave her 2 ounces of formula to see if she was indeed, still hungry. The poor girl drank it all in about 2 minutes flat.

After she drank the formula, she was just different. She was smiling, laughing, and eager to play. Now don’t get me wrong, she’s a very happy baby anyway, but this was night and day different. I feel so bad because I’ve sort of “known” for a while that she wasn’t getting enough, but she wasn’t super fussy, she wasn’t waking up in the middle of the night, she was still wetting her diapers (but not pooping), etc. The past two days, though, she’s woken up an hour into each nap. Again, not super fussy, just woken up, so I wasn’t 100% sure. Now, I’m sure!

I know I don’t eat healthy and that’s probably part of it. BUT, I drink my water, I definitely eat enough calories , I limit my caffeine and alcohol…I’m just not sure how to “fix” this. Ideas??

One thing I can say is that she doesn’t nurse super well anymore. Once she started cereal (4mo), she nursed seemingly faster. Before cereal, each feeding was 20-25 minutes. After starting cereal, feelings are down to 10-15 minutes, if I’m lucky. Once she “pops off” she is not concerned with getting back on. I will try to continue the feeding, but she’s either distracted by something else, not concerned, or let down isnt happening fast enough for her. I don’t know how to fix this, either. Ideas??

So, overall, it’s been a GREAT day for Caden and potty training, but not so great for my confidence in getting Kennedy fed and nourished! Ideas on fixing that issue would be greatly appreciated!

**as always, THANK YOU for all of your prayers for our little family. We are definitely blessed beyond measure!!**